I really like tanning beds.
DMA Watch 2013: NEVERMIND
Going to NEC.
Moving to Boston. Moving in with Thomas and Colin. Found an apartment. Will convince T to take the MA bar. Parents are supportive. Have an amazing teacher and will have amazing performance opportunities.
Am so incredibly excited.
At the end of this whole process, I can’t help but be a little bit incredulous… how did I manage three schools to trick me into giving me full scholarships? How did I even manage to convince them to accept me?!
Now I just need to find jobs. Hopefully will have an interview at Tory Burch, and I’m in the process of finding a church gig.
And now, recital: Berg Sieben frühe Lieder, Barber Knoxville: Summer of 1915,Poulenc Trois Poèmes de Louise Lalanne, a set of Chinese songs, Jaeger In Old Virginny with double bass. It’s a big program. Lots of singing. But, I’m feeling really good about it. I just need to finesse it over this next week — oh did I mention the recital is on May 12? — and make sure I’m in a good headspace.
“ You’re still going to get criticized, so you might as well do whatever the fuck you want. ”
Kathleen Hanna (via gymcandy)
Not sure I did the right thing. Calling NEC today and begging.
Anonymous asked: you're planning to make a living out of singing? just wondering
Singing and teaching and general badassery.
USC it is.
A free doctorate is hard to turn down.
Officially rejected Colorado’s offer. It’s either NEC or USC.
Find what makes you happy
And then do whatever you have to do to keep it in your life.
Just gotta figure out what makes me really happy.
DMA Watch: The Wait Continues…
I was all ready to go to USC, but they changed my financial aid package at the last second — so, in order to cover tuition, I’d have to take out a loan.
Colorado, on the other hand, is offering me full tuition and a $15,000 stipend (AND health insurance).
But I don’t want to move to Colorado. But I could have financial independence if I went there… and I wouldn’t have to work… But it’s fucking Colorado.
Going to Colorado means my relationship with T might fall apart. Another year of distance is… at its best, not ideal; at its worst, the thing that does us in.
I don’t know what to do. Even if the answer seems obvious, I don’t know how to proceed.
I sometimes get real, real self-conscious about my weight loss because I just don’t really had boobs anymore. I don’t feel as sexy as I used to when I was two up sizes larger, but I feel like so much more of a badass than I ever did before.
I still have a long way to go, but I’m getting there bit by bit.
Took a lot of guts for me to post this. Merpppp.
When combined with carrot and parsley and tomato and celery juices, beet juice ain’t that bad.
I still need to find a Tim Horton’s in the city before that Roll Up The Lid contest ends…
Also, I got into NEC. Very conflicted about it for a lot of reasons: money, they hate my document idea, northeastern weather, T. Input is welcome. How does a person go about pursuing a career while being head-over-heels from fourteen hours away?
Feeling sluggish and a little deflated, mainly because of this god-awful Rorem cycle I’m working on. Time for spring break.
The stars are wide and alive.
Visit with T came and went, and it was nothing short of magical.
The distance is difficult to manage, but being with T and simply living life is not difficult at all. I remember looking into his eyes on Wednesday during lunch and being so overwhelmed with appreciation for this other person that my heart nearly stopped beating. He is a good man and he is so, so good to me.
I just can’t wait for the part of our life together where we can say “goodnight” instead of “goodbye,” where I can drop him off at the airport and know that I’ll pick him up again in a few days to take him to our place, where I will edit his writing and he will give me feedback on repertoire I’m considering, where I can roll over in bed on a cold morning and always feel him wordlessly and gently pull me close to him, where his nightguard always lives next to my container of homemade lotion.
I want to cultivate my career, but I want to do it with him at my side — and I want to support him while he invests in his career. And I don’t want a white dress and a mortgage anytime soon - I just want to keep understanding and cherishing and loving this amazing man.